Thursday, September 01, 2005

there is a reason...

I've been having some very emotionally draining personal problems this week that one of the parties involved has asked me not to discuss with others. I am going to respect these wishes here, too. Suffice to say, no one is physically hurt or ill, I just haven't felt up to blogging. I feel totally useless, and I am frustrated.
A friend suggested that I use my blog to help me get "out of my own head" and to "count my blessings", or try to put things in perspective. This is very difficult for me to do right now.
I spent most of today shopping. Those who know me, know that this is not an activity I generally enjoy. I like to go to the grocery store (which I did today), but that is about the only kind of shopping I like. I felt like I had to get out of the house and into the world, so I tried to take Hazel for a long walk. We walked all around Compton Heights and Fox Park this morning for about two hours. After the walk, Hazel was exhausted and I was still restless, so I went shopping.
There were a few little things I needed: new headphones, a coffee press for more than two cups, inscense, sponges. I got all of these things and continued to wander around the store for another hour or so, randomly picking up objects and placing them into my basket. Anything that caught my eye, anything sparkly or pretty, I grabbed. Needless to say, when I approached the checkout I did a double take of the contents of said basket. I immediatly left the line and put three-fourths of the crap I had picked up back, which took up another fifteen minutes. I have no idea why I kept grabbing random shiny things. I am not usually an impulse buyer, I've been trying to cut down on the ammount of "stuff" I own. I wonder where the need to collect all that junk came from, and what it says about my present state of mind. I still ended up with a few frivilolus items ( a henna tattoo kit, a lovely blue cereal bowl with plum blossoms on it), but I think I have learned that retail therapy is not the kind of therapy that works for me.
I'm tired but I don't want to sleep. I feel restless. I think I'll try taking Hazel for another walk.


Blogger Blogger News said...

Nice job with your blog, Dude! I'll let folks know about it.

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7:10 PM  
Blogger April said...

I repeat your advice to me:
"Don't drown yourself in the shower. I recomend at least fifteen hours of hiding in a closet though."

Though apparently laser hair removal will do the trick as well.

2:40 PM  

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