Thursday, April 06, 2006

Spring fever

When the weather starts to warm up and it stays light out longer, I just want to sit on my back porch all evening and smoke cigarettes. I'm not going to, because I quit smoking a while ago, but that's all I really want to do tonight. It's cool out, and there's a slight breeze. The air is damp from the afternoon showers, the freshly turned earth in my garden smells like a promise of this coming summer.
I have a cup of tea and a book, I've left the heating pad inside for now, but I wish I had a cigarette to keep me company on this perfect night.
I know I probably wouldn't be able to smell the dampness half as well if I was still smoking, and I know that I'd probably be congested and coughing right about now, I know that I am much healthier without the little cancer sticks. I miss the poetry and romanticism of cigarettes, the pretentious European flair they seemed to give everything I did. I know it was all a facade, all in my head, I've read too many novels, seen too many subtitled films. I need to find a replacement for smoking, something I can do while sitting alone on the back porch on a perfect spring night. I am open to suggestion, 'cause the tea ain't cuttin' it.


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