Monday, May 30, 2005

in response...

Last night Dad and I were talking about my blog. He feels that:
a. my spelling needs help (Spelling has never been my strong point. I do check things before I post them, but I use what he considers "un-words" like "gonna" and "kinda"),
b. that my grammar is poor (I have friends who call me "the grammar girl" and beg me to edit their papers), and
c. that I use too much profanity. This I could not dismiss with a one-sentance retaliation. I argued that my blog tends to be a stream of conscienceness thing, written as close to how I talk as possible, and that I consider it a sort of vernacular version of writing. He told me, for what was probably the eighty-four thousandth time that use of profanity is a sign of a weak vocabulary. I DO NOT have a weak vocabulary. I consider myself quite the verbose vixen. I know what prolix, tautological, garrulous and loquacious mean. I also do not think my blog is a nest of profanity.
I went back through all my posts, starting at the begining. Here's what I found:
1: 26 words that COULD be considered profanity.
2: 16 words I wasn't allowed to say while living under my parents roof. This is counting each word individually. For instance, I used the word "ass" five times.
3: An over abundance of the word "sucks" or "sucked" that I will concede to remove from my vocabulary, not because it is profanity, but because it sounds immature.
4: The term "half-assedly" which I learned FROM MY FATHER, and refuse to let go of because it is one of my favorite "rickicisims"
5: Matt put up a comment with the word "shit" in it, doubling the times it has been used in this blog.
6: I have only used the f-word once. It was in jubilation after seeing Guitar Wolf live. Since Guitar Wolf is quite possibly the greatest band ever, I think I should get a little leeway in my expression for the sake of Rock-n-Roll. Bass Wolf would have wanted it that way.
7: I counted "pooped" as mildly profane, even though the two times I used it, it was as an adjective.
8: I feel I should be permitted to use the words "damn" and "hell" as much as I want, because I do not believe in damnation or in hell, therefore I could never be seriously damning anyone to hell, or in my opinion be damned to hell myself.
9: 26 words in four months is nothing compared to what one hears on television.
10: I am going to put my education to good use. From this point forward all blog swearing will be done in a foreign language. I will disclose the translations arbitrarily, and possibly not at all.
So there you go, Daddy. I hope I have made a strong case for myself. I stand by what I said last night. Chalk it up to literary license. My use of expletives is not excessive. My spelling is neither atrocious nor despicable. I AM the grammar girl, hear me roar. This is the way I write, and I'm not changing my style. When have I ever?


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